Count down to Christmas

Eeeek it's 18 sleeps until Christmas Day :). I can't wait i get to spend it with the most important people in my life. So how's it all going? Well the trees up. Seren put the star on the tree. Presents are wrapped I have some still to wrap but not many. I've just placed an order with asda for some presents for my dad and Seren. We really are going to have an amazing christmas. 

(Serens Tree)

It's all coming into place and I couldn't be any more happier than I am. I had my Christmas present on 31st August when Seren was born.. 

Baby Stay Still

  Yeah this baby of mine will not stay still. She's 3 months old she can't roll or crawl or anything like that but I try to feed her to sleep so I can cut her nails and she throws her arms around something rotten. It's like she knows. I do love the smiles she gives though. She is such a cheeky little monkey. So baby stay still let me do your nails. Baby stay put when I put you on your playmat. Does anyone have any ideas to get her to enjoy it more? She goes on and then starts crying after 5 minutes. She won't even do tummy time.. I feel like screaming what am I doing wrong? I know in my head I'm not doing anything wrong though. Surely some babies just don't like tummy time? I never had tummy time 20 years ago and I turned out fine right? I hope.

 So come on people give me some ideas to be able to cut her nails and toe nails.. They're like sharp little pins.

 

World AIDS day - Dec 1st

 Tonight I ask one thing, when you say your prayers or whatever you do before you go to sleep. Spare a thought for those who have lost their family from AIDS and think about those living with HIV.

Let's stop this stigma.

Let's stop ignorance.

One of the worlds most famous rock stars/musician died from AIDS. It's not something dirty or catchable by touch. Let's not treat these people badly. Don't stare, don't say mean things. 

Lady Diana Spencer never got AIDS and she worked with loads of people with it. So does prince Harry. It's only transmitable by bodily fluids.

Spare a thought for them 

Work It Out

   Not so simple to work it out when you do nothing but argue. Let's sort it out he says... He comes and sees Seren but never says lets talk.. Doesn't even say hello.. Cant forgive and forget things I've done when I've apologised over and over. Yet I'm supposed to forgive everything his family do? I'm supposed to forgive and forget that they said I wasn't family when I get no apology for it. Nothing saying they'll do more photos and include me. Nope it's ok for me to be treated like shit on someone's shoe by his family but I'm supposed to shout from the rooftops how sorry I am because I've told him to man up and be a dad.

   He says i want to sort it and comes with no plan to sort it.. Make up your mind

Update - Been A While

 Well last time I blogged to you all I was saying how I thought things between me and Serens dad weren't good. Well it's official instead of wanting to work at things he ended it last Friday. I couldn't even bring myself to cry, well not until mid week, I just carried on. Like a robot well I have a family to look after. That's where I'm wrong I have a family who will look after us. I have my parents who have been my rock and I have my uncle and aunt. I have lots of family around me. I have lots of friends too.

This is only a quick update because it's 22:35 and Seren is finally asleep so I'm going to join her in dream land. Till next time. I'm gonna try get back on everyday because I need to get back to being me. 

I love you all! 

Better Things

Your supposed to be happy when a baby is born. I was I was estatic. I had my family but it's all fell apart. Me and john argue more than we did before Seren was born and I just don't know why! I don't feel depressed or upset but these arguments get to me. They make me think is our relationship worth it? Do I put Seren through it? I don't want to. I lived with my parents arguing. I don't want that for her. I'd rather she has two happy parents than parents who argue. 

So we're 10 weeks in.. My relationship has gone to pot. I have a beautiful little girl.. Christmas is coming.. Things are generally good. Just wish they were better. How can I make it better? I really don't know. But for now snuggles with my princess make it all better 

Dear Mum

Dear Mum,

 You are amazing. Everything you went through with me as a baby and now your going through it again with me and my baby. You say compared to how I was when I was a baby that Seren is quite good. If that's true then OMG how hard was i? I find Seren hard to cope with some days.

There's many things I could write in this and it wouldn't really mean anything. All I know is your amazing. You've not just been my mum but my best friend and I never really got it till now. Yes we clash because we're both headstrong. Yes we've argued, but if it wasn't for you I wouldn't have got through my labour. I wouldn't have had an a assisted delivery I know for a fact if you wasn't there it would have been a section. I have so much to thank you for. All them years cleaning me up and cuddling me, all those accident you fixed with special kisses and magic water to make it all better. All them problems at school you fought tirelessly. Just for me. I always remember saying stop interfering it's ok. It was never ok to be bullied and you fought my corner, even that time when I did do wrong and use my fists. You stood in my corner cause now I realise that's what mums do.

Your not just any mum. Your MY mum. Your loved so much. I appreciate you so much. I wish I could turn back the clocks and never argue with you, I'm hoping that's just par of growing up. Your my inspiration mum. The most amazing woman on the planet and I'm so lucky because your MY mum.

Xxxx