Monday, 30 June 2014

29 Week Appointment - Growth Scan

  So this is like 3 weeks late now but least it's being done. My blog has been neglected lately which I apologise for, however a lot has been happening in my life and around in my family.

  I went for my 29 week growth scan on Thursday 12 June and wow what happened never even crossed my mind!! I thought I'd have my scan and then just go home after seeing the consultant I was so wrong. I got up early as my appointment was at 9:10 for my scan and had to make sure the dog had been sorted before H got here to take us for the scan and I woke up not wanting to get up, maybe I had a feeling that something wasn't going to go right, however I got up and sorted, helped my mum around the house and when H turned up he had some breakfast and a drink before leaving to go to the hospital.

  On the way to the hospital H kept falling asleep which didn't surprise me but scared me as he was driving! I don't hold much hope for our next appointment which again is a morning appointment. With my appointment being a morning one, they don't have much time to run behind which was good because we was seen pretty much 5 minutes after my scan appointment, was lovely to see my little girl on the screen and be told everything was ok with her. They printed off a photo for me to keep which was lucky as I'd been told they don't do that anymore. After my scan I just had to wait to see my consultant. I went through ante-natal and saw my consultant and asked him to sign my form for my maternity grant. I then decided to ask him about a pain I was having in my right lung area. He checked me over and then told me he needed to speak to my consultant as I was seeing one of his team. When he came back in he didn't look happy but who is when they have to give someone bad news. Although he checked my chest and lungs he had said I needed to be admitted and that I would be treated for a suspected blood clot on my lung. I was so scared and then I just had to wait to be transferred to the ward.

Thursday, 19 June 2014

25 Weeks - Glucose Tolerance Test

  So at 25 weeks I had my GTT. Now if your going to ask what a GTT is it means Glucose Tolerance Test. It's a test done on pregnant women to test the amount of glucose in the blood and how well your body is working at getting rid of Glucose. The test is done to see if pregnant women are at risk of developing Gestational Diabetes. If you have gestational diabetes the main concern is that your unborn baby will grow larger and make a natural delivery more complicated and harder.

  They normally arrange a GTT for between 24 and 28 weeks of pregnancy. I had mine at 25 weeks. I had to be up and at the hospital by 9am, so that I could have blood taken and then drink this glucose drink which was orangey but horrid. Then it was just waiting. Waiting, and more waiting. I had 2 hours to pass till they took the others bloods and time just seemed to drag. I listened to my music, played on my phone, read some of my book. In the end I ended up on facebook and a game killing my iPhone battery.

  I felt kind of sick towards the end and I just had to keep willing myself to get through it because I knew if I was sick then I'd have to come back for another GTT and I really didn't want to because for me it was bad enough getting up early for it once never mind twice. When my little miss is here I won't mind being up early because I'll have a reason to get up then. I'll have a beautiful little girl to wake up too. After what seemed like forever they called me to have my second set of bloods and then I could go home. I just had to wait until Thursday tea time. If they called me by then it meant that my result was positive and I had to go back to find out what would happen. However if they didn't call it meant my result was fine and I hadn't developed Gestational Diabetes.

Now since the beginning of my pregnancy I've been adamant that something is going to go wrong for me. Call it a gut feeling. When I first fell pregnant I had a gut feeling I was having a girl and I was right. So my gut feeling had to be right this time. I was sure that this is what would go wrong. I just knew it in my head. I was lucky I guess. I had no phone call I even phoned them on Friday morning and my result was fine I could finally relax and look forward to seeing my little miss at my growth scan.

CDH UK - Congential Diaphragmatic Hernia

So what is CDH?

CDH is the abbreviated name for Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia. ‘Congenital’ means born with ,  ‘Diaphragmatic’ means of or affecting the diaphragm; which is a thin sheet of muscle that helps us to breath and keeps our chest and stomach contents separate. ‘Hernia’ is a general term used to describe a ‘bulge’ or ‘protrusion’ of an organ, for example the stomach, through the structure or muscle that usually contains it. CDH occurs in approximately 1 in 2500 births and accounts for around 8% of all major congenital abnormalities.

There is no firm evidence that it occurs more in one particular sex. However, some studies have suggested that males are more commonly affected than females with a ratio of 3:2. Familial clusters (running in families) have been observed in less than 2% of cases and the risk in future pregnancies is said to be 2%. There is currently no known cause or risk factor, but studies have suggested that it is probably multifactorial, meaning there maybe a number of factors involved including environmental and genetic.

The diaphragm normally develops in the unborn baby by around the 7-10 week gestation period of the baby’s development and CDH occurs when the diaphragm fails to form correctly or fails to develop in the unborn baby, allowing the abdominal contents to herniate into the chest cavity, which in turn prevents the lungs from developing properly. Depending upon at what stage the abdominal contents (also referred to as ‘Viscera’) herniated, how much, and the size of the hole in the Diaphragm will determine how much the unborn baby’s lungs and other internal organs, such as the heart, have been affected.

There are different types of CDH; the most common type is Bochdalek which accounts for over 90% of diaphragmatic hernias and is usually on the left side. Morgagni hernias are less common and are found behind the sternum (breastbone) with most being slightly to the right side. Diaphragmatic eventration occurs when the diaphragm is still intact but is weak and abnormally high in the chest (can be either unilateral or bi-lateral). They may simply be refered to as left-sided, right-sided or bi-lateral.

In a left-sided hernia, varying amounts of abdominal contents can herniate, including small and large bowel, stomach, spleen and sometimes the liver. In right-sided hernias, it is usually only the large bowel and or liver A correctly formed abdomen that herniates. Bilateral hernias are uncommon and as the term suggests; affects both sides.

In most cases and particularly in left-sided hernias, the condition is isolated, which means that there are no other associated anomalies. Rarely, CDH is part of a chromosomal syndrome such as Edward’s Syndrome (Trisomy 18), Patau’s syndrome (Trisomy 13), Down’s Syndrome (Trisomy 21) and Turner Syndrome (Monosomy X). However, a Karyotype test is usually offered to confirm that the hernia is isolated. Uncommonly, other syndromes such as Cornelia De Lange and Fryn’s syndrome have also been associated with CDH.

Other features of CDH can include variable degrees of Lung Hypoplasia (incomplete development of the lungs), Pulmonary Hypertension (increased pressure in the pulmonary arteries) and heart defects. These are often difficult to diagnose and confirm to what extent they are present until after baby is born. Other malformations can occur and are principally the cardiovascular (heart, lungs etc) genitourinary (kidneys, bladder etc) and gastrointestinal systems (stomach, bowel etc).

Currently the prognosis (outlook) for babies diagnosed with CDH remains statistically at 50%. A measurement called LHR (lung:head ratio) is often used by Doctors as an indicator to help them to assess the severity of the hernia and to assist them with planning the best management for your baby. This is taken during an ultrasound scan and your Doctor can explain this further to you. As each case is different, each case warrants its own outlook; some babies with extremely good prospects before birth fail to do well and some babies with very little lung and a poor outlook will do extremely well.

How is it Diagnosed??

CDH is commonly diagnosed at the routine 20 week scan and sometimes as early as the 12 week routine scan. It is however, possible for baby to be diagnosed with CDH at any point after the 12 week scan right up until the final weeks of pregnancy and even after baby is born.

It is picked up by the person carrying out the scan (sonographer) when it appears organs are not where they should normally be, or there is something unusual about the scan. You will then be invited to attend another scan session to have the diagnosis confirmed.

Here are some of the stories from families that have had to cope with CDH.
Families Stories

Here is the CDH UK website
CDHUK



Cheeky Chimps

     I've currently re-branded my old business. It started because I wanted something hand-made for my daughter. I wanted something cute and soft. Something not tiny but not massive and I thought well why don't I re-brand and get my business back up and running. I can run my personal blog alongside my business and I will also have a business blog. Hopefully this will be starting up very soon. I have had a lot going on lately so I am behind with a lot of things and I'm using today to try and get up to date. It probably isn't going to be finished today as I have a blanket to sew and also other things around the house to do. I always thought yeah ok it isn't that hard to do everything but wow it actually is.

  By re-branding I've also chosen to raise awareness of CDH. This stands for Congential Diaphramatic Hernia. Everyone who is going to read that may not know much about CDH so this where I tell you I will be doing a post right know about CDH. I first came across CDH while watching One Born Every Minute on channel 4. I did my re-search and have now contacted CDH UK the charity. All the links will be available in my next post.

  I could have chosen something so out there that everyone else wants to support. Every charity needs awareness raising but I think CDH more than any, because this happens to babies who are developing in the womb. It could have happened to my little princess but she's been lucky as well as me as a parent. I will have to watch my little girl fight for things in her life and I'm blessed this isn't one of them but for some families it is. So for that very reason we need to know more about this we need to know what people are going through everyday with their babies.


22 Weeks Scan

   On April 28th I had my 20 week scan at 22 weeks. I was so looking forward to seeing my princess again. Sat in the waiting area of the scan department there was this young lady who already had a child so was obviously her 2nd child. Well she had her mum and sister with her also. Anyway they got called in and her mum went with her while her sister went outside for a fag. Obviously time passes and I still hadn't been called in for my scan. Next thing I saw and heard were one the things I feared the most throughout my whole pregnancy. I saw this woman's mom and sister in tears. Then I turned away and her mum must've phoned someone in their family because I heard her say that her daughters baby had died in the womb.

   After hearing that I was on edge the whole time I was waiting for someone to call my name. It felt like a complete lifetime. I know it must've only been half an hour more of waiting before they called me, just felt like forever. They called me into the scan room and I was still on edge. Even when the sonographer was putting the gel on my stomach until I saw her little heartbeat I couldn't be put at ease. Finally there we saw it her little heart beating. They asked if I knew the sex of my baby in case we saw her girly bits on the screen and I didn't want to know but I said we already knew and they confirmed for me she's a girly. Was lovely to see her again on the screen wiggling away and kicking out. We also saw her yawn and hiccup which was lovely. The sonographer even printed a face on view of my little girl.

I'll leave you with some pictures.


Tuesday, 17 June 2014

Natalia Framed

Well I'm back and I will let you know what's happened over the next few posts however this is some advertising as many of you read this.

  A couple of weeks back I met a wonderful lady called Natt who is on a group I joined. I found out she does these awesome cuts, pictures. They really are amazing and for handcrafted the quality is immaculate. I have already spoken to her about doing one for my nephew and also my daughter. Take a look but seriously just like her page have a look at everything she's done. Some pictures and the link are below.

Natalia Framed




Wednesday, 11 June 2014

Take my breath away

  Well everyone says there's moments in life that are so amazing or spectacular that it takes their breath away. Well today I've experienced a new meaning to this! Literally having my breath took away by walking. Walking of all things! Like seriously? Well yes.

It's starting to look like my little monkey is making her stamp and pushing my diaphragm up and it's making it hard to breathe. I can't even walk as fast! A little old dear walked from the bus stop to the bottom of my road before I even got to my house and I live half way down it! I was at the top of the road when I saw her at the bottom and turning the corner. I was shocked at how slow I've become no wonder my dad powered off when we was on holiday in great yarmouth! 

So yes baby girl you are taking my breath away very literally so will you stop leaning against my ribs or something and just move! Please? If not I'll think about re-naming you with a name that means monkey! 

Insomnia

I have trouble sleeping every night but it seems tonight more than most and I'm not sure why. All I do know is that it feels like I constantly need to pee or that I'm crushing a hip whichever side I lie on. I've tried getting comfy with a pillow and it just isn't helping. I feel like I want to cry. I've got another 11 weeks of this and when I do get up to pee it's for the minuscule amount when it feels like I'm fit to burst!

My little miss keeps moving as well which doesn't seem to be helping. Argh. Even when I've been to the bathroom the minute I leave I feel like I need to go again! I don't think it's my night tonight. Then again I've noticed another thing that's been annoying me the last few nights. Is that the bottom of my tummy has been hot and itchy. It's only been happening the last few nights but it's so annoying!! 

Well I'm going to love and leave you all as it's 20 past midnight and I have to be up early to sign on for the very last time tomorrow. Well today as on Monday I phone up to change my benefits over!

Night night mummies, daddies, babies, fellow bloggers. I'm signing out. 

Tuesday, 10 June 2014

16 Weeks - Gender Scan

  Well we couldn't really wait much longer so we booked a gender scan and such an amazing experience it was. I got to take my mum and dad with me as well so they got to see our little monkey. It was amazing we also got a sneek peak at our baby in 4D but we couldn't see much as all our baby showed us was her back..
She also likes lying on her head so I will leave you know with 2 of the photos from seeing our little princess.. Our pink bump..



16 weeks

    My 16 week appointment has got to be the best appointment I've had and that's because I heard my baby's heartbeat for the very first time. Just me and my mum as H works nights so has said he'd only make the scans. I got my booking bloods back which were good except I was told that I'm borderline anemic. But still the best part was hearing her heart beat. I was on such a high after that.

    I was told the next time I saw the midwife would be at 24 weeks due to having shared care and at 20 weeks I will be seeing the consultant at the hospital. Not much to say about that day other than it went quickly.

12 Weeks - Part 2

So I left my scan feeling quite disheartened. I was staying at my boyfriends the week of my scan and as we go on I will mention my boyfriend who is my babys dad and I'm aware I've given him 2 names so far in my blog. His name is John, however I may refer to him as H (family nickname for him). Now I've cleared that up I can get on with my post.

  I left my scan feeling quite disheartened but happy that I got to see my baby and know that her heartbeat was present. I spent that Monday at home with my mum till I went back to John's on the night time. Tuesday came and I was feeling a little bit better but what happened that morning I didn't expect. The hospital called me to say they had an appointment on Thursday I could have. So of course I said yes and then rang mum to tell her what they had said and would she come with me. I couldn't wait till Thursday came, but I kept myself busy.

  I got up early on Thursday morning as we had to go and get my mum from home before we went to the hospital for my scan. When we got to the hospital I booked in and then we just had to wait, wait and wait. Now there's something about hospitals which means after a while my mum has to go out for some fresh air because they make her incredibly hot. Looking back on it now I know I should have sent John after her when they called me as they called me in while she was outside but I was torn I didn't know what to do. So I just went in. I handed over my notes again and then got asked why I was there for a scan because my baby won't have grown much. I didn't have an answer, I just looked bewildered. She said she'd scan me anyway and see if she could see anything so that's what she did. The pictures we got the baby were so clear. I regret not having my mum in there with me I really do even though there's nothing I can do to change it now. She was able to take all the measurements she needed and printed off the pictures we had paid for. It then meant I had to go for my bloods.

 As I left the scan room I saw my mum sitting there in the waiting room but she said it was ok that she had missed me going in because she needed air. It was only after I found out she was disappointed that she'd missed it and it did really upset me. I went round to the clinic to have my bloods taken. I had to take a ticket and then go wait for the number to come up on the screen. H came with me when it was time for me to have my bloods. We found out I have deep veins which is why the community staff couldn't get blood. The nurse taking the blood didn't scratch me she jabbed me. After my bloods we left and my mum was happy to have her own copy of the scan.


12 Weeks - Part One

  So I've been for my 12 week scan and the troubles we had when I was there. I went with a full bladder as they tell you to. Typical community center though and were is the waiting room? Yep your correct... right outside the toilets. Midwives were in the room right next to me all they seemed to be doing was chatting away there was no-one else there except for me. 

  They called me in and started asking me questions. Asking me for forms. I was so confused and just had to tell them all the forms I had been given were inside my red plastic wallet that I'd been keeping my pregnancy notes in. They didn't seem impressed. It wasn't my fault. They weighed me and then asked me to take a seat back outside to wait for the sonographer that was at the clinic. My one question is why are midwives never on time? Is it a perk of there job? Do they like being late? Just wondered like as there either late or uncontactable. The sonographer called me, my mum and babys dad into the room she was going to perform the scan in and so off we went. She took my notes off me and I lay on this bed while she got the jelly and ultrasound probe ready. She started scanning me and kept clicking away, then all of a sudden with no warning she pressed the probe down with both hands into my lower stomach. OUCH! The only thing I could think and then while still pushing down hard she tried to snap some pictures and take the measurements she needed to. Now this is just me but I think that they should tell you if they think the problem could be your bladder being too full, but no not this one. She huffed and she puffed until she said she couldn't see anything clearly enough to do everything she needed to. Only then did she suggest doing the urine sample and emptying my bladder before trying again. 

   Off I went and did as she said then went back into the room and the same thing as before but she could see baby better and she pointed out my little monkeys heartbeat which was a huge relief to all of us. She still couldn't take any mesurements so she referred me to the hospital for 2 weeks later and sent me to have my bloods done. I went off with a scan of my baby round to have my bloods done to find that after 3 attempts they couldn't get blood either so when my scan date came through I had to also have my blood taken. 

  I left that appointment feeling a bit disheartened really because even though I left with a picture of my baby it was a blurred picture and I hadn't really got to see her.


  

Jay Demetriou

   I posted earlier about my choice to donate my daughters cord blood. I explained that I had my personal reasons that my nan and aunt Marj had cancer. There are other reasons. A boy who lived (I say lived he still does live there because his memory lives there with his family) In Rubery, Birmingham. Is another inspiration to why I want to donate my daughters cord blood. I've followed his story and seen the updates that have been posted by his parents. I've read their heart-breaking words as their son is no longer with them in body. He is only with them in love and spirit. I have permission by Jays Mum Mandi to post this post about Jay.

This is Jay's Story.

My name is Jay Demetriou, I am 12 years old. In December I was diagnosed with Burkitts non hodgkins lymphoma. I have to undergo intense chemotherapy for 6 months followed by more chemotherapy as an outpatient.

I was a year 8 student who enjoyed skateboarding, riding my scooter and playing my playstation.

At the end of November I started to feel unwell and was taken to my Doctors. I was given Laxatives. 10 days later I was still not well and I returned to my Doctor. I was given stronger Laxatives and was told they need time to get into my system. Not happy with that my family took me to the Hospital, The Doctor felt my tummy and I was given an enema and told to drink plenty of water. My mother asked the doctor if I was ok to go on holiday and we were told YES.....

We traveled to Orlando on 13th December for our Disney Christmas Holiday. We drove straight to Disney Vero Beach for a few days before we returned to Orland, We never got there.....

I was taken poorly on the 16th and was taken to the hospital, a CT scan showed a large mass in my abdomen and I was transferred to West Palm Beach Children's Hospital. There I was admitted and further CT scans were carried out and a MRI scan. This showed a 9.8 x 8 cm Tumour.

Surgery was planned and my life changed for ever..... I had a colostomy fitted and a biopsy was taken. Christmas was then spent not at Disney but at the hospital, On the 27th I was given the results of my biopsy I had CANCER.

30th December was time to leave Florida and return home, I was not able to fly back on the commercial flight with my Father and Sister. My mother and I had to fly on a medical flight with a doctor and Nurse. It was a 18 hour flight Back to the UK flying from West Palm via Toronto, Hudson's Bay, Iceland and into Birmingham where a Ambulance was waiting on the runway and I was taken off the plane straight to Birmingham Children's Hospital. This is where I have been since the 31st of December undergoing intense Chemotherapy..


Jay unfortunately lost his battle on October 8th 2013, after 10 months of fighting.

Team Jay Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Team-Jay/444026625669807

                                   

How to be an Anthony Nolan cord blood donor

Anthony Nolan

  Anthony Nolan are a charity who help adults and children with blood disorders and cancer by helping them find a match to there blood or bone marrow for life saving transplants.

    It all began in 1974. With her three-year-old son Anthony in urgent need of a bone marrow transplant, Shirley Nolan set up the world's first register to match donors with people in desperate need. 

Now, we help three people each day find that lifesaving match. 
We also conduct world-class research into stem cell matching and transplants, so we can make sure every person in need gets the best possible treatment.

So that's who Anthony Nolan are.


   They also offer a cord blood banking service where when your new baby is born they come in and take the placenta so that they can extract the cord blood which has life-saving stem cells in which are then sent to the cord bank in Nottingham. At the moment this service can only be offered in a few hospitals around the country. If you want to check if it is offered near you just click on the link below:

http://www.anthonynolan.org/8-ways-you-could-save-life/donate-your-umbilical-cord-blood

So why did I choose to Donate?

   I have chosen to donate my daughters cord blood because of how I have been affected. Now I know that cord blood wouldn't have helped 2 of my family t members who had cancer. My nan who passed away April 2013 and my aunt Marj who passed away April 2010...

But I have also seen what it does to families who loose there children because there aren't enough matches out there. The special thing about cord blood is it hasn't been given its purpose yet. It can be used for anything and it gives someone a chance. A chance at life. My daughter has a life from the moment she's born. There are families out there who could be on the brink of loosing there children and cord blood is there last option. My daughter is going to help 2 people just by being born. I don't have to do anything except sign the forms. Why just throw it away when it can be used for something good before hand.




The Booking Appointment

  All I had to do now was wait for the booking appointment with the midwife. I didn't have to wait that long really but it seemed like forever because she was on annual leave and then never got back to me for a week and when she finally called I was relieved because I had my scan booked for the following week. I was very nervous I wouldn't have notes in time and then the community centre would turn me away so I wouldn't be able to see my baby.

   The midwife was supposed to be at my house for my booking appointment at 10 in the morning. Now foolishly and stupidly thought she would be, especially after my mum said she'd stay as long as she needed to. All because I was nervous. I was worried the midwife would say something about my dog. Well 20 past 10 came and no-one had come. Which meant my mum had to leave for work and I was on my own. God my nerves we're making my brain trip. 

   I sat waiting with the tv on and as I got up to check out the window I saw a car pulling up with a women in a nurses uniform pulling up. So I thought yeah this is her. I went to the hallway door to open it so I could stand in the porch and re door wouldn't open. Crap. The door was working only half an hour ago. I panicked. I kept trying the door and it wouldn't work. The only option I had was the side door into the living room... 

  I went out to meet my midwife and explain the door wasn't working an she's have to come through the side door. I felt like such an idiot. Even though she had no problem with it, I can tell you I did. I sat there feeling like a right numpty. I don't even know what I was worried about. All that happened was the midwife asked me lots of questions about my family. About my baby's dad's family. Then just lots of information about when I will have appointments, what they will be for and information leaflets on all types of things. One thing that caught my eye was a leaflet from Anthony Nolan. 

Monday, 9 June 2014

The Second Scan - 7 weeks

  As you may start to realise there is a lot to get through bearing in mind I only have 11 weeks and 3 days left till my due date. So as you can see and have seen you've been informed of what happened when we found out and when I had my first scan and as your reading this you know this is about my second scan. I'm going to catch you up with this pregnancy as quick as I can posting mainly about the scans and midwife visits until I get to 28 weeks which is this week. Then I'll keep you updated as much as I can but there's lots of changes going on here and it may be a bit hard. Here goes....

  I had the letter through for my second scan, for the second week of January. So I was going to be able to see my little baby again only 2 weeks after seeing nothing on the ultrasound screen. I was excited yet nervous again. But all went well and we saw our little bean who we now know is a little girl for the very first time. To see that little heart beating away was a huge relief. Here is the first glimpse of my little miracle....

The First Scan - 5 Weeks

    That next day I received the phone call for the time of my scan. Looking back on it now I think as if it hurt that much just having back pain. I called the baby's dad to tell him what time the scan was and he said that he'd be over just before to pick me up and so he was. The journey to the hospital felt like the longest journey I've ever been on. Not knowing what was going to happen. All the worst possible scenarios were running through my mind. My gut just told me it wasn't meant to be.

   Everything seemed to take forever. Even sitting in the scan department that afternoon. It seemed like every minute was an hour not knowing. Just thinking what's going to happen next. Am I going to be ok? Is this life inside of me ok? Finally I got called through for my scan and I was so nervous. I remember looking at the screen and seeing nothing. I don't even know what I was looking for, but in my head I saw nothing. The sonographer was turning things and moving the ultrasound probe. All that was in my head was that I'd lost the baby.

   After what seemed like forever she said my Fallopian tubes were normal and that there was a yolk sac, and it was where it was supposed to be. So the back pain wasn't anything to do with the baby. Well that's what I thought. She re-booked me for another scan in 2 weeks to see how things we're developing and to find out if my pregnancy was a viable pregnancy. So there It was ok we couldn't see anything or make sense of anything but she could and that's what mattered. That's the beginning to my little monkeys journey. A journey which is going to end sometime in September or even August. A very unexpected start to 2014.

 

A catch up

    So for everyone who knows me they know I'm 28 weeks pregnant with a little girl. I found out I was pregnant just after a Christmas break to go and see my boyfriends parents as they work away. They was working in Portsmouth at the time. We went for a few days after Christmas and while I was away and the day we came back I was in such pain with the right hand side of my back. So much it brought me to tears.

    My dad said it was best to go to the hospital and that's exactly what we did. We went to A&E. Now finding out your pregnant at home is going to be a shock enough especially when you wasn't expecting it. So finding out in A&E wasn't exactly ideal. Well not for me anyway. After hours of waiting in A&E they transferred me to the women's hospital as they wanted to rule out an eptopic pregnancy. So yeah I've just been told i'm pregnant and now there telling me the pain I'm experiencing could mean I'm loosing the baby.

   I waited to be told that the scanner on the ward they put me on was dodgy so the consultant wouldn't be able to have a clear picture of what was going on. I had two options let them scan me that night or come home and go back for a scan in the morning. All I wanted to do was to come home but I was in so much pain. I was lucky as they sorted the pain for a few hours, so I came home. That night was the worst night ever pain wise I woke a few times feeling like I couldn't move, breathe, I couldn't even call for help.

A Bit Late

        Okay, so some are going to moan that I've started this a bit late but does it really matter when I can back date posts and bring you all up to date with everything going on. Family life has its' joys, sorrows, highs, lows but I know everyone who is a parent wouldn't change it for the world. But what do you do when people say you've ruined your life? Or that you will never get a job because your young and have children? Well this is me saying B*&%*$*s to them because I think in life it's about being determined. I see many people have children once they're in a job and manage both. So why can't a young mum do that? We just did it a little differently. We have different priorities. I never dreamed I'd have a family before I had a job, before I met the right person, but I did know I wanted to be a mum.

       So for me it's happened earlier than planned but determination is all your going to need. I've been through a lot I know what it's going to take for me to come out the other end of all this but I know it's going to happen. It may take me years but it will happen and for all those who loose faith and think they can't do it. It's in you, you just have to find what drives you on. When I left school in year 11 I was told something by one of my teachers and I never believed it. She said 'There's a inner person within myself and i'll find whatever strength I need from that'. My friend Beck always told me I'd find it too and I never believed it until today because today was the day I found it. I found that strength to stand up and be counted. To be the one that won't be pushed out anymore and won't be treated like a child. I'm 20. Today is the start of the rest of my life. A life I will my for me and my family.