Tuesday, 16 December 2014

Islam & Islamic Extremists - They are so different

Ok right I'm so sick of this. Whenever things happen. Whenever 1 person or 2 people go to the extreme we tend to blame the religion. Why? All religions are the same we all believe In the same person but we call him so many different things. Allah, God, Buddah. Islam is so different to the Islamic extremists. So why are we blaming them? 

 So much has happened in this world 9/11, 7/7, Lee Rigby Killing, Hostage situation in Sydney. All this and it just happens that the majority are Islamic extremists who think Allah wants this. They are wrong so wrong they're mind has been warped. What God no matter what you call him wants you to go kill people. 

 Yesterday a terrorist was killed after taking 17 people hostage. 3 of his hostages were killed. 9/11 Islamic terrorists hijacked planes and crashed them into buildings. 7/7 bombs in London again by Islamic terrorists. The war on terrorism. Lee Rigby murder where a British soldier was mowed down and then killed by two Islamic extremists.

I have Muslim friends. My best friends boyfriend is Muslim. So I'm saying this do not blame a religion. We all just want to live in peace it's the majority. So I'm stood here saying I'll stand with my Muslim friends I'll stand by Jay because we need to stop blaming a religion. Blame the people. 
 This is my friends blog post:

http://www.dreambiglivefull.blogspot.com.au/2014/12/illridewithyou.html?m=1

Friday, 12 December 2014

Coca-Cola Truck Tour & Shopping

 So everyone knows that the coca-cola truck does a tour every year, for ages now I've kept saying I'm going to go and well it's never happened. I was going to go last year with Serens dad but we missed the Birmingham tour date so we decided to go to the Leicester one but when that day came I just couldn't be bothered. It seemed to far away to queue up for hours on end to see a truck. However this year I did. I went with my friend Mel and Seren. 


  The coca-cola truck opened at 1pm and I'm so glad we got there early cause we was done by 5 past 1!! I spent more time getting up and down the podium with Seren because j wanted to make sure I didn't fall! It had been raining so the slope try had put out was slippy. To get our photo we was given a code. So in a few days I'll be able to download our photo. 
 After seeing the coca-cola truck we went Christmas shopping and what has happened to town?! The pallasades have gone. Now I haven't been into town for a few years so I'm guessing the pallasades went when they started to do the renovations to New Street Station. Me and Mel and Seren really shopped till we dropped because the moment we got home and Seren was fed she was sparks in the clothes she was wearing that day! 

  I know I was glad when bedtime came and so was this little miss but we had an amazing day!!! 


Lost Post

 I've lost half my post from coca cola truck do bare with me 

Monday, 8 December 2014

Breast Vs. Bottle - The Big Debate

Now I'm not here to tell you how to feed your baby that is up to you. I don't even care. As long as a baby is fed and looked after and is a happy baby, I really couldn't care less. I know breastfeeding isn't possible for some people and I'm not about to sit here and bang on about it and make them feel bad. I know there's many reasons people can't breastfeed for long or at all. I really don't care. I think as long as you look after your child it doesn't matter if they are breastfed or bottle-fed. I do care however that some breastfeeding mums get told to 'go feed their baby in a toilet' or get told to cover up. That's what I have an issue with.

 Last week in London a lady was told to cover up so she could feed her daughter discreetly. Now in my opinion putting a big cloth over yourself and your babies head causes more reaction than just bringing your baby up to you. We don't go out flashing our boobs out like these models but that's acceptable. Yes ok use a cover if it makes you feel comfortable. But no-one should be forced to. Would you cover a baby having its milk from a bottle? 
 
 Breastfeeding mothers are protected by the Equality Act 2010. Now like ive said before I don't care if you breastfeed or formula feed your baby. But if you breastfeed never feel like you need to cover up. You don't have to. 

Some boobie love from Seren

Sunday, 7 December 2014

Moving On

 I'm no longer living in limbo which I'm happy about. Just not happy about the outcome but it's what's best for Seren. Today I gave john the days he could visit to have his access with Seren. Supervised by my mum. He's got access on Tuesday and Sunday's. Least that's sorted now. 

  Me and Seren can move on with our lives now start doing things for us. For our family. 2015 is going to be our year. 2014 was the best year ever I was blessed with Seren. My little star. I never ever thought I'd have her but now my life is complete. Christmas is going to be amazing I'm sure of it I really am. Serens first christmas. 

It's all happening now. Tomorrow I'm moving Serens big car seat out of the porch so we can put the spare tree up in there. I'm ordering a santa stop here sign for my baby. She's got a plate for christmas it really is coming into place. I've brought my Christmas presents from Seren. I've brought her dads and her grandmas. But even better I've brought my parents Christmas presents. Well not all of them. I'm going to go out in the week and get them some more things.

  Nan I know your up there watching so this Christmas is for you. Many more to come. We all love and miss you Christmas was your favourite. We'll open a present for you. Such a dear nan and such a great friend. The person I told everything to. I hope you have a merry Christmas in heaven. Don't go drinking all the sherry now. Seren and I love you so much. 

Saturday, 6 December 2014

UPDATING

I will be updating my blog page. I've decided a re-vamp is in order. So please bare with me while I do this. I will continue to post as normal. But the blog may look a bit of a mess while I do it.



Count down to Christmas

Eeeek it's 18 sleeps until Christmas Day :). I can't wait i get to spend it with the most important people in my life. So how's it all going? Well the trees up. Seren put the star on the tree. Presents are wrapped I have some still to wrap but not many. I've just placed an order with asda for some presents for my dad and Seren. We really are going to have an amazing christmas. 
(Serens Tree)

It's all coming into place and I couldn't be any more happier than I am. I had my Christmas present on 31st August when Seren was born.. 

Monday, 1 December 2014

Baby Stay Still

  Yeah this baby of mine will not stay still. She's 3 months old she can't roll or crawl or anything like that but I try to feed her to sleep so I can cut her nails and she throws her arms around something rotten. It's like she knows. I do love the smiles she gives though. She is such a cheeky little monkey. So baby stay still let me do your nails. Baby stay put when I put you on your playmat. Does anyone have any ideas to get her to enjoy it more? She goes on and then starts crying after 5 minutes. She won't even do tummy time.. I feel like screaming what am I doing wrong? I know in my head I'm not doing anything wrong though. Surely some babies just don't like tummy time? I never had tummy time 20 years ago and I turned out fine right? I hope.

 So come on people give me some ideas to be able to cut her nails and toe nails.. They're like sharp little pins.

 

Sunday, 30 November 2014

World AIDS day - Dec 1st

 Tonight I ask one thing, when you say your prayers or whatever you do before you go to sleep. Spare a thought for those who have lost their family from AIDS and think about those living with HIV.

Let's stop this stigma.
Let's stop ignorance.

One of the worlds most famous rock stars/musician died from AIDS. It's not something dirty or catchable by touch. Let's not treat these people badly. Don't stare, don't say mean things. 

Lady Diana Spencer never got AIDS and she worked with loads of people with it. So does prince Harry. It's only transmitable by bodily fluids.
Spare a thought for them 

Work It Out

   Not so simple to work it out when you do nothing but argue. Let's sort it out he says... He comes and sees Seren but never says lets talk.. Doesn't even say hello.. Cant forgive and forget things I've done when I've apologised over and over. Yet I'm supposed to forgive everything his family do? I'm supposed to forgive and forget that they said I wasn't family when I get no apology for it. Nothing saying they'll do more photos and include me. Nope it's ok for me to be treated like shit on someone's shoe by his family but I'm supposed to shout from the rooftops how sorry I am because I've told him to man up and be a dad.

   He says i want to sort it and comes with no plan to sort it.. Make up your mind

Saturday, 29 November 2014

Update - Been A While

 Well last time I blogged to you all I was saying how I thought things between me and Serens dad weren't good. Well it's official instead of wanting to work at things he ended it last Friday. I couldn't even bring myself to cry, well not until mid week, I just carried on. Like a robot well I have a family to look after. That's where I'm wrong I have a family who will look after us. I have my parents who have been my rock and I have my uncle and aunt. I have lots of family around me. I have lots of friends too.

This is only a quick update because it's 22:35 and Seren is finally asleep so I'm going to join her in dream land. Till next time. I'm gonna try get back on everyday because I need to get back to being me. 

I love you all! 


Wednesday, 12 November 2014

Better Things

Your supposed to be happy when a baby is born. I was I was estatic. I had my family but it's all fell apart. Me and john argue more than we did before Seren was born and I just don't know why! I don't feel depressed or upset but these arguments get to me. They make me think is our relationship worth it? Do I put Seren through it? I don't want to. I lived with my parents arguing. I don't want that for her. I'd rather she has two happy parents than parents who argue. 

So we're 10 weeks in.. My relationship has gone to pot. I have a beautiful little girl.. Christmas is coming.. Things are generally good. Just wish they were better. How can I make it better? I really don't know. But for now snuggles with my princess make it all better 

Monday, 13 October 2014

Dear Mum

Dear Mum,
 You are amazing. Everything you went through with me as a baby and now your going through it again with me and my baby. You say compared to how I was when I was a baby that Seren is quite good. If that's true then OMG how hard was i? I find Seren hard to cope with some days.

There's many things I could write in this and it wouldn't really mean anything. All I know is your amazing. You've not just been my mum but my best friend and I never really got it till now. Yes we clash because we're both headstrong. Yes we've argued, but if it wasn't for you I wouldn't have got through my labour. I wouldn't have had an a assisted delivery I know for a fact if you wasn't there it would have been a section. I have so much to thank you for. All them years cleaning me up and cuddling me, all those accident you fixed with special kisses and magic water to make it all better. All them problems at school you fought tirelessly. Just for me. I always remember saying stop interfering it's ok. It was never ok to be bullied and you fought my corner, even that time when I did do wrong and use my fists. You stood in my corner cause now I realise that's what mums do.

Your not just any mum. Your MY mum. Your loved so much. I appreciate you so much. I wish I could turn back the clocks and never argue with you, I'm hoping that's just par of growing up. Your my inspiration mum. The most amazing woman on the planet and I'm so lucky because your MY mum.

Xxxx

Thursday, 2 October 2014

4 weeks

So we are 4 weeks into motherhood and for Seren 4 weeks into the world and now it's a week of mental development. But my poor baby also keeps getting a temperature. At the moment she's managed about 15 mins sleep since she woke up this morning at 9:45. This is because we are currently both lay in mummy's bed! I do love being mummy just when I'm getting cried at constantly it gets hard. I wouldn't change it for the world though. Even 15 mins sleep is better than none and it may help her temperature f she gets some sleep.

Since day one she's been a good sleeper at night only ever waking once or twice so I'm really lucky there seeing as I know some people are up all night with there babies. We are 2 weeks post tounge tie and her feeding has just got better and better to be honest. I'm so proud of her. However my dinky dot still fits in first size and 0-3 are still massive on her. To be honest it really is just a quick update on how we are getting on. 

Sunday, 14 September 2014

Neglected

So I haven't been here for ages and it seems I've neglected you all but I haven't honestly. Ok maybe I have and I'm sorry, but it has been hetic in my life at the moment and that's because I have a new baby. That's right no longer pregnant no more pregnancy posts but I do need to finish off my pregnancy posts so that's going to be confusing. 

So today at 07:27 my little girl will be 2 weeks old! God how the time flies!! Seren Jade was born on 31st August 2014 weighing 8lb13oz. So I will fill you in more soon as I do want to try get some sleep because little miss Seren Jade has had me up since 5! 

I'll leave you all with a picture 

Our first cuddle

Wednesday, 13 August 2014

(TRIGGER WARNING) A Battle - Still Fighting

  Yesterday the world payed and are still paying tributes to a great actor and comedian who sadly cut his life short because of Depression. Unfortunately Robin Williams took his own life, it was the only option he felt he had. I know what people are going to say. Why didn't he get help? What about his family? That he made a selfish decision. But how can you judge? Have you been in his shoes have you faced the battles he has? 
  Until you've been in the place he was you can't say anything. I suffer with depression. I've been fighting this battle since I was 14-15. I've suffered with depression I still do, I no longer take my anti-depressants. I feel like I don't need to but I still have daily struggles. I still have days where I feel I don't want to do anything, don't want to get up in the morning. 

Depression isn't something you can just get over. See I've self-harmed, I have cut myself to try and stop the emotional pain I'm feeling. I've tried to end my own life, I'm still here I failed. I was told I did it for attention. That made me feel lower than low. I did it because I felt there was no other way. 

So when you think of Robin Williams don't think of the way his life ended, think of all he achieved. Think of all the laughter and joy he gave you in your childhood. Be that as a alien, Peter Pan, A Scientist, Dr. Patch Adams or even Mrs. Doubtfire these films are what he lived for he lived to make people laugh. To bring joy to adults as well as children. We're lucky there are still 4 films we will see him in! So let his memories lives on in the characters we all love! 

R.I.P.  Robin Williams 




Sunday, 27 July 2014

Garden Renovations - Part 3

So today dad has decided to renovate the rabbit hutch so that it is easier to clean for me and mum. Which means putting the run on the the side of the hutch. It also means we can now have the kitchen window open when cooking which may make us less grumpy when cooking now. Luckily with 2 men it should be done faster but dad and John are like Laurel and Hardy. So I'm guessing it's just going to take them longer. Let's hope they at least go to the skip because we have a mattress that is clogging up our landing! For the next week I'm going to have a lot of time on my hands as I'm going to Tamworth for the week to look after Johns dog. It's going to be a interesting week. So for now I'm signing out as there's loads to do. 

Saturday, 26 July 2014

35 Weeks Pregnant

So as of Thursday I was/am 35 weeks pregnant. I'm so glad I'm near the end though now. At the moment we are expierencing the hottest weather ever! So hot I'm writing this at 19:15 and it is 27.3 degrees still. To say I am coping would be a massive understatement because I don't feel like I'm coping at all! I feel all stupid because I don't look pregnant and I'm struggling so much in the heat! The symptoms I'm expierencing don't help me either but you would have thought oh she's used to them by now. Yeah I am but these odd new ones I'm not. So the symptoms this week are:

Heartburn
Indigestion
Swollen feet
Headache/Migraine (which won't go away with pain killers)
Pins and needles in my back and toes
Pain in tummy which I can't tell difference to if it's baby moving or pain
Lower backache 


Come on princess mummy's getting fed up now 

Hospital Bag

I've half packed my hospital bag today but really need to finish it off! I really don't know what I need to take for myself and I know I should google it but everything else just seems to be getting in the way. It's either to hot to do it or I say I don't have old clothes to use and everything but I really should sort it out even if it means going and getting bits and pieces to put in it. I have all the baby's stuff though so that's the most important but if it's still this hot she won't need her blanket at all!! 

Bad day

Well today has been a bad day for me the weather is really upsetting me along with the fact I'm drinking loads but hardly peeing doesn't help sorry for too much info there. I'm starting to hurt everyday from the moment I get up to the moment I fall asleep. It's been worse the last few days. I'm constantly getting pain in my tummy and now I can only just about tell what's baby's moving and what's pain! Surely that's not right? So I'm currently lay down in my room while I write this because I've just hit my limit. I have a headache but I can't sleep because I'm feeling so stressed and so so hot. 

Today we was supposed to do loads of things. Have they been done? No. Only the shopping has been done which is lovely isn't it! All because the boys decided playing with the shed and putting stuff in it would be more fun! I'm just cheesed off but for now I'm going to play a game and try relax! 

Blog soon bloggers 

Wednesday, 23 July 2014

Garden Renovations - Part 2

So I'm just taking a break from sorting the bedroom even more! To update you all on our garden renovations as you saw from the previous post, my dad brought a new shed and broke up the old one. Well on Thursday evening we had a tat man turn up and he took the majority of out metal stuff and decided to come back on Friday for the rest. Dad had a great idea that he was going to burn wood so he don't have that much to get rid of so on Thursday, Saturday and Sunday we had bonfires and now I'm happy to say te she's is up and the wood is gone we just need to sort the grass out an fertilise and re-seed so that it will grow next year. But here's some pics for you all to enjoy. 





Thursday, 17 July 2014

Oh no!!!!

  I know I'm a moaner but omg!!!! I have my first end of pregnancy symptom!! Other than the pains I've been getting. I have a swollen foot! Yes one!!! Not both but one!!! Agh!!! The end is near!! 

Garden Renovations

  So tonight dad came home and decided off his own back he was going to pull down the shed. Best part is the new shed hasn't even arrived yet! It's supposed to arrive tomorrow!! We have no skip to put all the rubbish and looks like it's just going to have to be a few bags a week and take them to the skip! So now we have a problem! The dog and rabbits can't go in the garden unsupervised because our shed used to have a window in but all the glass has shattered when dad and John pulled it apart!! Here's a few pictures for the start of our garden renovation! 





Tuesday, 15 July 2014

Hospital Stay - Saturday

  By now I was starting to get fed up of being in the same place with nothing being done but today the nursing staff were brilliant. Kept me informed and even let me go off the ward with my parents and John. I had been stuck on the ward for 2 days other than going to the QE for the scan so I really was pleased to get some fresh air. It was the constant unknown that got to me. I went down to the garden for some fresh air. It really did help. Not much happened on Saturday to be honest. The staff were lovely and other than going out for some fresh air I spent the day on the ward. Me and H played Monopoly on the iPad and just chilled.. On the night I couldn't face the hospital food so we ordered some food from a local take away. It was just a nice chilled day, and I was happy because I was kept in the loop about what was going on with my care and why they felt I needed so much monitoring. I went to sleep happy that night. 

Monday, 14 July 2014

Bloglovin'

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Thursday, 3 July 2014

Hospital Stay - Friday

   This morning I wasn't in the best of moods due to not getting much sleep. I refused breakfast and a drink as I just wanted to sleep. The midwife came to do my obs and listen to baby and she also gave me the clexane. I wasn't happy as they didn't have the dose I needed so I ended up with 2 needles at last nights dose and this mornings. She said about putting me on the monitor to monitor baby for a bit. I didn't mind them monitoring baby as it just meant I could lie down and do nothing. All I was waiting for was the scan anyway. I was told that the transport to take me over the road to the QE would be arriving about 1pm. Eventually I got up and put the stockings on as I had took them off to sleep else I would have been up all night they was driving me that crazy. I didn't even bother getting dressed. I just stayed in my pj's. When the transport arrived I just put my slippers on and went over in my pjs. I was expecting to go to a ultrasound department or something but I didn't. I ended up in nuclear medicine which confused me. I wasn't quite sure why I was in nuclear medicine until I was called into the room for my scan. 
 
    When I was called in for my scan and I entered the room I had a consent form shoved at me and was asked to sign it. It just confused me even more so I asked why even though I felt backed into a corner to sign it. The reason was because they wanted to breathe in radioactive gas so they could see my lungs on the scanner and then after that I would be given a radioactive dye so my blood circulation would show up. After all this I was told that there would be a risk to my baby by having the radioactive gas and dye. I felt even more bewildered but I signed the forms and went ahead because I felt I had to. I had the scan and then went back to the women's hospital where I was told that someone would look at my scan today and give me the results. I can happily say that didn't happen. They messed me around all day and I was so upset, I ended up in tears while talking to my mum and dad on the phone. Even in tears when I spoke to John. Just seemed that everything warranted tears especially when they all popped home and john facetimed me so I could see my babies. I was a blubbering mess. Do you think a doctor turned up? No. Visiting time came at 7pm and still no doctor, I'd got so upset and annoyed. 

  8pm came and visiting had ended they wanted to get my family to leave but I was so glad when my dad had told them that no one was leaving until we all saw a doctor to find out what was going on. Today was the luckiest day for me really weren't it at 8:15 the doctor came to tell me they hadn't looked at my scan and I'd be there for the weekend, because there was no one available over the weekend to look at it. After all this my dad had words and was able to get my fan brought up because it was so hot aswell and had spoken to them about turning out the light right outside the cubicle window.. Once my fan had been brought up about 9pm I settled down and had a shower, settled in bed and then waited for the Wngland match to come on. 

Decorating

  We've also done the decorating in the last few weeks. I was moving from the small room to the big room there isn't much to say but it's so I have space with the baby. Here's the before pics: 
Here's the work pics:

And after: 


My new room :) 

Hospital Stay - Thursday

  I got onto the ante-natal ward about midday, which was when H had to go because he'd been up all night at work and then come to mine for the scan. Then all the waiting for a bed that I found out once I was on the ward had been available since 2am that morning. How do I know that? The other ladies in the bay told me. When I got to the ward the staff were quite nice offered me something to eat which I refused as I wasn't hungry. I had to be fitted for stockings which as you can guess are lovely. Not! Well it's something that needed to be done especially as they was treating me for a suspected blood clot.

    After about a hour on the ward a midwife came to tell me they'd booked the scan of my lungs for tomorrow and arranged transport as I had to go over the road to the QE for my scan. There wasn't much they could do that day really it was just obs and waiting. I was told I had to have clexane injections to thin my blood. I knew I should of cared but I really just didn't. I was too scared to care, to worried about my daughter even though nothing was wrong with her and just so upset. It's the first time in hospital I've had to stay on my own because all my admissions have been as a child so my mums always been with me.

Mum had to leave in the afternoon as she needed to come home because the dog had been left in the house without going for his walk even though he'd been for a walk in the morning and let out when mum had popped home to pick up some stuff for me while I was in ante-natal waiting for the bed to be available. I was sat there on my own and I was in good spirits. I just muddled through it and visiting time came and my mum,dad and H came and they brought me some more stuff from home and a few little snacks to eat. I loved seeing them and dad was just a clown like normal, that cheered me up. Until they left when visiting ended.. I've never felt so alone, I had the clexane injection and from the time they left at 8 until about 1am I just cried. I knew crying wasn't going to get me anywhere but I couldn't help it I was alone in hospital for the first time and it felt so scary. The midwife wasn't listening to the fact that the stockings were making my legs itchy and sore which just made me feel worse. I'd also been in pain with the right side of my chest all day but now at night it haut felt so much more. About 1am I had pain relief and I think the combination of pain relief and tiring myself out from crying just knocked me out that night.

Monday, 30 June 2014

29 Week Appointment - Growth Scan

  So this is like 3 weeks late now but least it's being done. My blog has been neglected lately which I apologise for, however a lot has been happening in my life and around in my family.

  I went for my 29 week growth scan on Thursday 12 June and wow what happened never even crossed my mind!! I thought I'd have my scan and then just go home after seeing the consultant I was so wrong. I got up early as my appointment was at 9:10 for my scan and had to make sure the dog had been sorted before H got here to take us for the scan and I woke up not wanting to get up, maybe I had a feeling that something wasn't going to go right, however I got up and sorted, helped my mum around the house and when H turned up he had some breakfast and a drink before leaving to go to the hospital.

  On the way to the hospital H kept falling asleep which didn't surprise me but scared me as he was driving! I don't hold much hope for our next appointment which again is a morning appointment. With my appointment being a morning one, they don't have much time to run behind which was good because we was seen pretty much 5 minutes after my scan appointment, was lovely to see my little girl on the screen and be told everything was ok with her. They printed off a photo for me to keep which was lucky as I'd been told they don't do that anymore. After my scan I just had to wait to see my consultant. I went through ante-natal and saw my consultant and asked him to sign my form for my maternity grant. I then decided to ask him about a pain I was having in my right lung area. He checked me over and then told me he needed to speak to my consultant as I was seeing one of his team. When he came back in he didn't look happy but who is when they have to give someone bad news. Although he checked my chest and lungs he had said I needed to be admitted and that I would be treated for a suspected blood clot on my lung. I was so scared and then I just had to wait to be transferred to the ward.

Thursday, 19 June 2014

25 Weeks - Glucose Tolerance Test

  So at 25 weeks I had my GTT. Now if your going to ask what a GTT is it means Glucose Tolerance Test. It's a test done on pregnant women to test the amount of glucose in the blood and how well your body is working at getting rid of Glucose. The test is done to see if pregnant women are at risk of developing Gestational Diabetes. If you have gestational diabetes the main concern is that your unborn baby will grow larger and make a natural delivery more complicated and harder.

  They normally arrange a GTT for between 24 and 28 weeks of pregnancy. I had mine at 25 weeks. I had to be up and at the hospital by 9am, so that I could have blood taken and then drink this glucose drink which was orangey but horrid. Then it was just waiting. Waiting, and more waiting. I had 2 hours to pass till they took the others bloods and time just seemed to drag. I listened to my music, played on my phone, read some of my book. In the end I ended up on facebook and a game killing my iPhone battery.

  I felt kind of sick towards the end and I just had to keep willing myself to get through it because I knew if I was sick then I'd have to come back for another GTT and I really didn't want to because for me it was bad enough getting up early for it once never mind twice. When my little miss is here I won't mind being up early because I'll have a reason to get up then. I'll have a beautiful little girl to wake up too. After what seemed like forever they called me to have my second set of bloods and then I could go home. I just had to wait until Thursday tea time. If they called me by then it meant that my result was positive and I had to go back to find out what would happen. However if they didn't call it meant my result was fine and I hadn't developed Gestational Diabetes.

Now since the beginning of my pregnancy I've been adamant that something is going to go wrong for me. Call it a gut feeling. When I first fell pregnant I had a gut feeling I was having a girl and I was right. So my gut feeling had to be right this time. I was sure that this is what would go wrong. I just knew it in my head. I was lucky I guess. I had no phone call I even phoned them on Friday morning and my result was fine I could finally relax and look forward to seeing my little miss at my growth scan.

CDH UK - Congential Diaphragmatic Hernia

So what is CDH?

CDH is the abbreviated name for Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia. ‘Congenital’ means born with ,  ‘Diaphragmatic’ means of or affecting the diaphragm; which is a thin sheet of muscle that helps us to breath and keeps our chest and stomach contents separate. ‘Hernia’ is a general term used to describe a ‘bulge’ or ‘protrusion’ of an organ, for example the stomach, through the structure or muscle that usually contains it. CDH occurs in approximately 1 in 2500 births and accounts for around 8% of all major congenital abnormalities.

There is no firm evidence that it occurs more in one particular sex. However, some studies have suggested that males are more commonly affected than females with a ratio of 3:2. Familial clusters (running in families) have been observed in less than 2% of cases and the risk in future pregnancies is said to be 2%. There is currently no known cause or risk factor, but studies have suggested that it is probably multifactorial, meaning there maybe a number of factors involved including environmental and genetic.

The diaphragm normally develops in the unborn baby by around the 7-10 week gestation period of the baby’s development and CDH occurs when the diaphragm fails to form correctly or fails to develop in the unborn baby, allowing the abdominal contents to herniate into the chest cavity, which in turn prevents the lungs from developing properly. Depending upon at what stage the abdominal contents (also referred to as ‘Viscera’) herniated, how much, and the size of the hole in the Diaphragm will determine how much the unborn baby’s lungs and other internal organs, such as the heart, have been affected.

There are different types of CDH; the most common type is Bochdalek which accounts for over 90% of diaphragmatic hernias and is usually on the left side. Morgagni hernias are less common and are found behind the sternum (breastbone) with most being slightly to the right side. Diaphragmatic eventration occurs when the diaphragm is still intact but is weak and abnormally high in the chest (can be either unilateral or bi-lateral). They may simply be refered to as left-sided, right-sided or bi-lateral.

In a left-sided hernia, varying amounts of abdominal contents can herniate, including small and large bowel, stomach, spleen and sometimes the liver. In right-sided hernias, it is usually only the large bowel and or liver A correctly formed abdomen that herniates. Bilateral hernias are uncommon and as the term suggests; affects both sides.

In most cases and particularly in left-sided hernias, the condition is isolated, which means that there are no other associated anomalies. Rarely, CDH is part of a chromosomal syndrome such as Edward’s Syndrome (Trisomy 18), Patau’s syndrome (Trisomy 13), Down’s Syndrome (Trisomy 21) and Turner Syndrome (Monosomy X). However, a Karyotype test is usually offered to confirm that the hernia is isolated. Uncommonly, other syndromes such as Cornelia De Lange and Fryn’s syndrome have also been associated with CDH.

Other features of CDH can include variable degrees of Lung Hypoplasia (incomplete development of the lungs), Pulmonary Hypertension (increased pressure in the pulmonary arteries) and heart defects. These are often difficult to diagnose and confirm to what extent they are present until after baby is born. Other malformations can occur and are principally the cardiovascular (heart, lungs etc) genitourinary (kidneys, bladder etc) and gastrointestinal systems (stomach, bowel etc).

Currently the prognosis (outlook) for babies diagnosed with CDH remains statistically at 50%. A measurement called LHR (lung:head ratio) is often used by Doctors as an indicator to help them to assess the severity of the hernia and to assist them with planning the best management for your baby. This is taken during an ultrasound scan and your Doctor can explain this further to you. As each case is different, each case warrants its own outlook; some babies with extremely good prospects before birth fail to do well and some babies with very little lung and a poor outlook will do extremely well.

How is it Diagnosed??

CDH is commonly diagnosed at the routine 20 week scan and sometimes as early as the 12 week routine scan. It is however, possible for baby to be diagnosed with CDH at any point after the 12 week scan right up until the final weeks of pregnancy and even after baby is born.

It is picked up by the person carrying out the scan (sonographer) when it appears organs are not where they should normally be, or there is something unusual about the scan. You will then be invited to attend another scan session to have the diagnosis confirmed.

Here are some of the stories from families that have had to cope with CDH.
Families Stories

Here is the CDH UK website
CDHUK



Cheeky Chimps

     I've currently re-branded my old business. It started because I wanted something hand-made for my daughter. I wanted something cute and soft. Something not tiny but not massive and I thought well why don't I re-brand and get my business back up and running. I can run my personal blog alongside my business and I will also have a business blog. Hopefully this will be starting up very soon. I have had a lot going on lately so I am behind with a lot of things and I'm using today to try and get up to date. It probably isn't going to be finished today as I have a blanket to sew and also other things around the house to do. I always thought yeah ok it isn't that hard to do everything but wow it actually is.

  By re-branding I've also chosen to raise awareness of CDH. This stands for Congential Diaphramatic Hernia. Everyone who is going to read that may not know much about CDH so this where I tell you I will be doing a post right know about CDH. I first came across CDH while watching One Born Every Minute on channel 4. I did my re-search and have now contacted CDH UK the charity. All the links will be available in my next post.

  I could have chosen something so out there that everyone else wants to support. Every charity needs awareness raising but I think CDH more than any, because this happens to babies who are developing in the womb. It could have happened to my little princess but she's been lucky as well as me as a parent. I will have to watch my little girl fight for things in her life and I'm blessed this isn't one of them but for some families it is. So for that very reason we need to know more about this we need to know what people are going through everyday with their babies.


22 Weeks Scan

   On April 28th I had my 20 week scan at 22 weeks. I was so looking forward to seeing my princess again. Sat in the waiting area of the scan department there was this young lady who already had a child so was obviously her 2nd child. Well she had her mum and sister with her also. Anyway they got called in and her mum went with her while her sister went outside for a fag. Obviously time passes and I still hadn't been called in for my scan. Next thing I saw and heard were one the things I feared the most throughout my whole pregnancy. I saw this woman's mom and sister in tears. Then I turned away and her mum must've phoned someone in their family because I heard her say that her daughters baby had died in the womb.

   After hearing that I was on edge the whole time I was waiting for someone to call my name. It felt like a complete lifetime. I know it must've only been half an hour more of waiting before they called me, just felt like forever. They called me into the scan room and I was still on edge. Even when the sonographer was putting the gel on my stomach until I saw her little heartbeat I couldn't be put at ease. Finally there we saw it her little heart beating. They asked if I knew the sex of my baby in case we saw her girly bits on the screen and I didn't want to know but I said we already knew and they confirmed for me she's a girly. Was lovely to see her again on the screen wiggling away and kicking out. We also saw her yawn and hiccup which was lovely. The sonographer even printed a face on view of my little girl.

I'll leave you with some pictures.


Tuesday, 17 June 2014

Natalia Framed

Well I'm back and I will let you know what's happened over the next few posts however this is some advertising as many of you read this.

  A couple of weeks back I met a wonderful lady called Natt who is on a group I joined. I found out she does these awesome cuts, pictures. They really are amazing and for handcrafted the quality is immaculate. I have already spoken to her about doing one for my nephew and also my daughter. Take a look but seriously just like her page have a look at everything she's done. Some pictures and the link are below.

Natalia Framed




Wednesday, 11 June 2014

Take my breath away

  Well everyone says there's moments in life that are so amazing or spectacular that it takes their breath away. Well today I've experienced a new meaning to this! Literally having my breath took away by walking. Walking of all things! Like seriously? Well yes.

It's starting to look like my little monkey is making her stamp and pushing my diaphragm up and it's making it hard to breathe. I can't even walk as fast! A little old dear walked from the bus stop to the bottom of my road before I even got to my house and I live half way down it! I was at the top of the road when I saw her at the bottom and turning the corner. I was shocked at how slow I've become no wonder my dad powered off when we was on holiday in great yarmouth! 

So yes baby girl you are taking my breath away very literally so will you stop leaning against my ribs or something and just move! Please? If not I'll think about re-naming you with a name that means monkey! 

Insomnia

I have trouble sleeping every night but it seems tonight more than most and I'm not sure why. All I do know is that it feels like I constantly need to pee or that I'm crushing a hip whichever side I lie on. I've tried getting comfy with a pillow and it just isn't helping. I feel like I want to cry. I've got another 11 weeks of this and when I do get up to pee it's for the minuscule amount when it feels like I'm fit to burst!

My little miss keeps moving as well which doesn't seem to be helping. Argh. Even when I've been to the bathroom the minute I leave I feel like I need to go again! I don't think it's my night tonight. Then again I've noticed another thing that's been annoying me the last few nights. Is that the bottom of my tummy has been hot and itchy. It's only been happening the last few nights but it's so annoying!! 

Well I'm going to love and leave you all as it's 20 past midnight and I have to be up early to sign on for the very last time tomorrow. Well today as on Monday I phone up to change my benefits over!

Night night mummies, daddies, babies, fellow bloggers. I'm signing out. 

Tuesday, 10 June 2014

16 Weeks - Gender Scan

  Well we couldn't really wait much longer so we booked a gender scan and such an amazing experience it was. I got to take my mum and dad with me as well so they got to see our little monkey. It was amazing we also got a sneek peak at our baby in 4D but we couldn't see much as all our baby showed us was her back..
She also likes lying on her head so I will leave you know with 2 of the photos from seeing our little princess.. Our pink bump..



16 weeks

    My 16 week appointment has got to be the best appointment I've had and that's because I heard my baby's heartbeat for the very first time. Just me and my mum as H works nights so has said he'd only make the scans. I got my booking bloods back which were good except I was told that I'm borderline anemic. But still the best part was hearing her heart beat. I was on such a high after that.

    I was told the next time I saw the midwife would be at 24 weeks due to having shared care and at 20 weeks I will be seeing the consultant at the hospital. Not much to say about that day other than it went quickly.

12 Weeks - Part 2

So I left my scan feeling quite disheartened. I was staying at my boyfriends the week of my scan and as we go on I will mention my boyfriend who is my babys dad and I'm aware I've given him 2 names so far in my blog. His name is John, however I may refer to him as H (family nickname for him). Now I've cleared that up I can get on with my post.

  I left my scan feeling quite disheartened but happy that I got to see my baby and know that her heartbeat was present. I spent that Monday at home with my mum till I went back to John's on the night time. Tuesday came and I was feeling a little bit better but what happened that morning I didn't expect. The hospital called me to say they had an appointment on Thursday I could have. So of course I said yes and then rang mum to tell her what they had said and would she come with me. I couldn't wait till Thursday came, but I kept myself busy.

  I got up early on Thursday morning as we had to go and get my mum from home before we went to the hospital for my scan. When we got to the hospital I booked in and then we just had to wait, wait and wait. Now there's something about hospitals which means after a while my mum has to go out for some fresh air because they make her incredibly hot. Looking back on it now I know I should have sent John after her when they called me as they called me in while she was outside but I was torn I didn't know what to do. So I just went in. I handed over my notes again and then got asked why I was there for a scan because my baby won't have grown much. I didn't have an answer, I just looked bewildered. She said she'd scan me anyway and see if she could see anything so that's what she did. The pictures we got the baby were so clear. I regret not having my mum in there with me I really do even though there's nothing I can do to change it now. She was able to take all the measurements she needed and printed off the pictures we had paid for. It then meant I had to go for my bloods.

 As I left the scan room I saw my mum sitting there in the waiting room but she said it was ok that she had missed me going in because she needed air. It was only after I found out she was disappointed that she'd missed it and it did really upset me. I went round to the clinic to have my bloods taken. I had to take a ticket and then go wait for the number to come up on the screen. H came with me when it was time for me to have my bloods. We found out I have deep veins which is why the community staff couldn't get blood. The nurse taking the blood didn't scratch me she jabbed me. After my bloods we left and my mum was happy to have her own copy of the scan.


12 Weeks - Part One

  So I've been for my 12 week scan and the troubles we had when I was there. I went with a full bladder as they tell you to. Typical community center though and were is the waiting room? Yep your correct... right outside the toilets. Midwives were in the room right next to me all they seemed to be doing was chatting away there was no-one else there except for me. 

  They called me in and started asking me questions. Asking me for forms. I was so confused and just had to tell them all the forms I had been given were inside my red plastic wallet that I'd been keeping my pregnancy notes in. They didn't seem impressed. It wasn't my fault. They weighed me and then asked me to take a seat back outside to wait for the sonographer that was at the clinic. My one question is why are midwives never on time? Is it a perk of there job? Do they like being late? Just wondered like as there either late or uncontactable. The sonographer called me, my mum and babys dad into the room she was going to perform the scan in and so off we went. She took my notes off me and I lay on this bed while she got the jelly and ultrasound probe ready. She started scanning me and kept clicking away, then all of a sudden with no warning she pressed the probe down with both hands into my lower stomach. OUCH! The only thing I could think and then while still pushing down hard she tried to snap some pictures and take the measurements she needed to. Now this is just me but I think that they should tell you if they think the problem could be your bladder being too full, but no not this one. She huffed and she puffed until she said she couldn't see anything clearly enough to do everything she needed to. Only then did she suggest doing the urine sample and emptying my bladder before trying again. 

   Off I went and did as she said then went back into the room and the same thing as before but she could see baby better and she pointed out my little monkeys heartbeat which was a huge relief to all of us. She still couldn't take any mesurements so she referred me to the hospital for 2 weeks later and sent me to have my bloods done. I went off with a scan of my baby round to have my bloods done to find that after 3 attempts they couldn't get blood either so when my scan date came through I had to also have my blood taken. 

  I left that appointment feeling a bit disheartened really because even though I left with a picture of my baby it was a blurred picture and I hadn't really got to see her.


  

Jay Demetriou

   I posted earlier about my choice to donate my daughters cord blood. I explained that I had my personal reasons that my nan and aunt Marj had cancer. There are other reasons. A boy who lived (I say lived he still does live there because his memory lives there with his family) In Rubery, Birmingham. Is another inspiration to why I want to donate my daughters cord blood. I've followed his story and seen the updates that have been posted by his parents. I've read their heart-breaking words as their son is no longer with them in body. He is only with them in love and spirit. I have permission by Jays Mum Mandi to post this post about Jay.

This is Jay's Story.

My name is Jay Demetriou, I am 12 years old. In December I was diagnosed with Burkitts non hodgkins lymphoma. I have to undergo intense chemotherapy for 6 months followed by more chemotherapy as an outpatient.

I was a year 8 student who enjoyed skateboarding, riding my scooter and playing my playstation.

At the end of November I started to feel unwell and was taken to my Doctors. I was given Laxatives. 10 days later I was still not well and I returned to my Doctor. I was given stronger Laxatives and was told they need time to get into my system. Not happy with that my family took me to the Hospital, The Doctor felt my tummy and I was given an enema and told to drink plenty of water. My mother asked the doctor if I was ok to go on holiday and we were told YES.....

We traveled to Orlando on 13th December for our Disney Christmas Holiday. We drove straight to Disney Vero Beach for a few days before we returned to Orland, We never got there.....

I was taken poorly on the 16th and was taken to the hospital, a CT scan showed a large mass in my abdomen and I was transferred to West Palm Beach Children's Hospital. There I was admitted and further CT scans were carried out and a MRI scan. This showed a 9.8 x 8 cm Tumour.

Surgery was planned and my life changed for ever..... I had a colostomy fitted and a biopsy was taken. Christmas was then spent not at Disney but at the hospital, On the 27th I was given the results of my biopsy I had CANCER.

30th December was time to leave Florida and return home, I was not able to fly back on the commercial flight with my Father and Sister. My mother and I had to fly on a medical flight with a doctor and Nurse. It was a 18 hour flight Back to the UK flying from West Palm via Toronto, Hudson's Bay, Iceland and into Birmingham where a Ambulance was waiting on the runway and I was taken off the plane straight to Birmingham Children's Hospital. This is where I have been since the 31st of December undergoing intense Chemotherapy..


Jay unfortunately lost his battle on October 8th 2013, after 10 months of fighting.

Team Jay Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Team-Jay/444026625669807

                                   

How to be an Anthony Nolan cord blood donor

Anthony Nolan

  Anthony Nolan are a charity who help adults and children with blood disorders and cancer by helping them find a match to there blood or bone marrow for life saving transplants.

    It all began in 1974. With her three-year-old son Anthony in urgent need of a bone marrow transplant, Shirley Nolan set up the world's first register to match donors with people in desperate need. 

Now, we help three people each day find that lifesaving match. 
We also conduct world-class research into stem cell matching and transplants, so we can make sure every person in need gets the best possible treatment.

So that's who Anthony Nolan are.


   They also offer a cord blood banking service where when your new baby is born they come in and take the placenta so that they can extract the cord blood which has life-saving stem cells in which are then sent to the cord bank in Nottingham. At the moment this service can only be offered in a few hospitals around the country. If you want to check if it is offered near you just click on the link below:

http://www.anthonynolan.org/8-ways-you-could-save-life/donate-your-umbilical-cord-blood

So why did I choose to Donate?

   I have chosen to donate my daughters cord blood because of how I have been affected. Now I know that cord blood wouldn't have helped 2 of my family t members who had cancer. My nan who passed away April 2013 and my aunt Marj who passed away April 2010...

But I have also seen what it does to families who loose there children because there aren't enough matches out there. The special thing about cord blood is it hasn't been given its purpose yet. It can be used for anything and it gives someone a chance. A chance at life. My daughter has a life from the moment she's born. There are families out there who could be on the brink of loosing there children and cord blood is there last option. My daughter is going to help 2 people just by being born. I don't have to do anything except sign the forms. Why just throw it away when it can be used for something good before hand.




The Booking Appointment

  All I had to do now was wait for the booking appointment with the midwife. I didn't have to wait that long really but it seemed like forever because she was on annual leave and then never got back to me for a week and when she finally called I was relieved because I had my scan booked for the following week. I was very nervous I wouldn't have notes in time and then the community centre would turn me away so I wouldn't be able to see my baby.

   The midwife was supposed to be at my house for my booking appointment at 10 in the morning. Now foolishly and stupidly thought she would be, especially after my mum said she'd stay as long as she needed to. All because I was nervous. I was worried the midwife would say something about my dog. Well 20 past 10 came and no-one had come. Which meant my mum had to leave for work and I was on my own. God my nerves we're making my brain trip. 

   I sat waiting with the tv on and as I got up to check out the window I saw a car pulling up with a women in a nurses uniform pulling up. So I thought yeah this is her. I went to the hallway door to open it so I could stand in the porch and re door wouldn't open. Crap. The door was working only half an hour ago. I panicked. I kept trying the door and it wouldn't work. The only option I had was the side door into the living room... 

  I went out to meet my midwife and explain the door wasn't working an she's have to come through the side door. I felt like such an idiot. Even though she had no problem with it, I can tell you I did. I sat there feeling like a right numpty. I don't even know what I was worried about. All that happened was the midwife asked me lots of questions about my family. About my baby's dad's family. Then just lots of information about when I will have appointments, what they will be for and information leaflets on all types of things. One thing that caught my eye was a leaflet from Anthony Nolan. 

Monday, 9 June 2014

The Second Scan - 7 weeks

  As you may start to realise there is a lot to get through bearing in mind I only have 11 weeks and 3 days left till my due date. So as you can see and have seen you've been informed of what happened when we found out and when I had my first scan and as your reading this you know this is about my second scan. I'm going to catch you up with this pregnancy as quick as I can posting mainly about the scans and midwife visits until I get to 28 weeks which is this week. Then I'll keep you updated as much as I can but there's lots of changes going on here and it may be a bit hard. Here goes....

  I had the letter through for my second scan, for the second week of January. So I was going to be able to see my little baby again only 2 weeks after seeing nothing on the ultrasound screen. I was excited yet nervous again. But all went well and we saw our little bean who we now know is a little girl for the very first time. To see that little heart beating away was a huge relief. Here is the first glimpse of my little miracle....

The First Scan - 5 Weeks

    That next day I received the phone call for the time of my scan. Looking back on it now I think as if it hurt that much just having back pain. I called the baby's dad to tell him what time the scan was and he said that he'd be over just before to pick me up and so he was. The journey to the hospital felt like the longest journey I've ever been on. Not knowing what was going to happen. All the worst possible scenarios were running through my mind. My gut just told me it wasn't meant to be.

   Everything seemed to take forever. Even sitting in the scan department that afternoon. It seemed like every minute was an hour not knowing. Just thinking what's going to happen next. Am I going to be ok? Is this life inside of me ok? Finally I got called through for my scan and I was so nervous. I remember looking at the screen and seeing nothing. I don't even know what I was looking for, but in my head I saw nothing. The sonographer was turning things and moving the ultrasound probe. All that was in my head was that I'd lost the baby.

   After what seemed like forever she said my Fallopian tubes were normal and that there was a yolk sac, and it was where it was supposed to be. So the back pain wasn't anything to do with the baby. Well that's what I thought. She re-booked me for another scan in 2 weeks to see how things we're developing and to find out if my pregnancy was a viable pregnancy. So there It was ok we couldn't see anything or make sense of anything but she could and that's what mattered. That's the beginning to my little monkeys journey. A journey which is going to end sometime in September or even August. A very unexpected start to 2014.

 

A catch up

    So for everyone who knows me they know I'm 28 weeks pregnant with a little girl. I found out I was pregnant just after a Christmas break to go and see my boyfriends parents as they work away. They was working in Portsmouth at the time. We went for a few days after Christmas and while I was away and the day we came back I was in such pain with the right hand side of my back. So much it brought me to tears.

    My dad said it was best to go to the hospital and that's exactly what we did. We went to A&E. Now finding out your pregnant at home is going to be a shock enough especially when you wasn't expecting it. So finding out in A&E wasn't exactly ideal. Well not for me anyway. After hours of waiting in A&E they transferred me to the women's hospital as they wanted to rule out an eptopic pregnancy. So yeah I've just been told i'm pregnant and now there telling me the pain I'm experiencing could mean I'm loosing the baby.

   I waited to be told that the scanner on the ward they put me on was dodgy so the consultant wouldn't be able to have a clear picture of what was going on. I had two options let them scan me that night or come home and go back for a scan in the morning. All I wanted to do was to come home but I was in so much pain. I was lucky as they sorted the pain for a few hours, so I came home. That night was the worst night ever pain wise I woke a few times feeling like I couldn't move, breathe, I couldn't even call for help.

A Bit Late

        Okay, so some are going to moan that I've started this a bit late but does it really matter when I can back date posts and bring you all up to date with everything going on. Family life has its' joys, sorrows, highs, lows but I know everyone who is a parent wouldn't change it for the world. But what do you do when people say you've ruined your life? Or that you will never get a job because your young and have children? Well this is me saying B*&%*$*s to them because I think in life it's about being determined. I see many people have children once they're in a job and manage both. So why can't a young mum do that? We just did it a little differently. We have different priorities. I never dreamed I'd have a family before I had a job, before I met the right person, but I did know I wanted to be a mum.

       So for me it's happened earlier than planned but determination is all your going to need. I've been through a lot I know what it's going to take for me to come out the other end of all this but I know it's going to happen. It may take me years but it will happen and for all those who loose faith and think they can't do it. It's in you, you just have to find what drives you on. When I left school in year 11 I was told something by one of my teachers and I never believed it. She said 'There's a inner person within myself and i'll find whatever strength I need from that'. My friend Beck always told me I'd find it too and I never believed it until today because today was the day I found it. I found that strength to stand up and be counted. To be the one that won't be pushed out anymore and won't be treated like a child. I'm 20. Today is the start of the rest of my life. A life I will my for me and my family.