The First Scan - 5 Weeks

    That next day I received the phone call for the time of my scan. Looking back on it now I think as if it hurt that much just having back pain. I called the baby's dad to tell him what time the scan was and he said that he'd be over just before to pick me up and so he was. The journey to the hospital felt like the longest journey I've ever been on. Not knowing what was going to happen. All the worst possible scenarios were running through my mind. My gut just told me it wasn't meant to be.

   Everything seemed to take forever. Even sitting in the scan department that afternoon. It seemed like every minute was an hour not knowing. Just thinking what's going to happen next. Am I going to be ok? Is this life inside of me ok? Finally I got called through for my scan and I was so nervous. I remember looking at the screen and seeing nothing. I don't even know what I was looking for, but in my head I saw nothing. The sonographer was turning things and moving the ultrasound probe. All that was in my head was that I'd lost the baby.

   After what seemed like forever she said my Fallopian tubes were normal and that there was a yolk sac, and it was where it was supposed to be. So the back pain wasn't anything to do with the baby. Well that's what I thought. She re-booked me for another scan in 2 weeks to see how things we're developing and to find out if my pregnancy was a viable pregnancy. So there It was ok we couldn't see anything or make sense of anything but she could and that's what mattered. That's the beginning to my little monkeys journey. A journey which is going to end sometime in September or even August. A very unexpected start to 2014.